Long before I was diagnosed with BPD I always had a lot of self-loathing and anxiety about not fitting in, partly due to my confusion at the time about my sexuality. Besides that, when I was 13 I was first diagnosed with depression and panic disorder and put on anti-depressants. Then, when I was 17, when the HSC [Higher School Certificate] started to get serious, I was diagnosed with OCD and medicated for that at quite a high dose. High school was really hard. I felt I had to make an impression on everybody. With my teachers I wanted to be more than just another student. I’ve always idealized people, like teachers, like therapists, my psychiatrists. I’ve had this ongoing theme of rejection and abandonment for a long time. To this day it’s what I struggle with the most.