Linda has come to the realisation that she has recovered and is actually leading a pretty good life - and with ‘Crumpet’ in tow - is looking forward to an exciting future.

I was diagnosed with BPD in 1991. My life was chaotic but I somehow made it through year 12. Thinking back, I can clearly remember how absolutely desperate I felt. It seemed nothing was satisfying and every attempt to find meaning or enjoyment ended up in depression, self-harm and hospital with a feeling of failure with every turn I took. Those years were exhausting to the point where it was just impossible to have the energy for the ‘recovery’ that was the growing focus in mental health in Australia.

I had, and still have, my vices. I have always liked my solitude to think and listen to music quietly; a time to process the world and my role in it, assess what I could and couldn’t change, what I could cope with and with what I couldn’t. Just when I think I have worked it out, it all changes. I now realise that is part of life and my BPD restricted me from being open to learning resilience and rolling with life and all it throws at you and offers you. Learning to reflect and process situations, events and interactions, gave me insight and new ways of being; and no, I didn’t learn this alone.

During my hardest years, there were a number of clinicians and the odd family member who stuck by me, sharing the hope of what my life could be and would be. Without them as my patient cheer squad, I really don’t think I would have survived as they were always there through the good times and bad, sharing endless options and mentoring with responses not reactions, kindness not impatience.

At a critical time in my recovery came a rescued Labradoodle called Crumpet, who took the focus off me as she needed all the care I could possibly give. The opportunity arose to have her trained as a mental health assistance dog and although this came at a cost both with time and money, it was something I wanted to try. We succeeded a couple of years later and bonded at the same time; healing us both from our past and moving toward a more exciting and fulfilling future. With that came opportunity.

Crumpet and I enrolled at TAFE in a community services course. Having a dog attending made me a lot of friends, who were all remarkably normal, with normal lives, normal relationships and normal feelings. This stage in my life was exciting and a real taste of what life could

be like. With a whole new change in perspective and the world opening up, I was able to enrol in a Bachelor of Social Work as a pathway, with Crumpet in tow. I can say now that this part of my life was the best I have had so far. The course, the trip to India as part of an immersion experience and finally graduating as a social worker and valedictorian; I finally came to the realisation that yes, I was recovered and actually leading a pretty good life.

It is six years since I graduated as a social worker. I have had some amazing jobs that have taken me as far as Nauru and I now work in the mental health sector myself. When I look back on my period living with the distress of BPD, it could easily be with regret but it is BPD that makes me the person and the social worker I am today and without BPD I wouldn’t see as clearly as I do now.

Early prevention and detection of Borderline Personality Disorder is important. Emily* and her parents spent years looking for appropriate treatment.

It’s been a long, hard road to diagnosis for our 15 year-old daughter Emily* and us. It would have been better if it had come sooner.

Emily’s behaviour went from sensitive, engaged and happy to challenging, angry and self-destructive when she was 7 years old. Unbeknown to us, she had experienced sexual abuse by a male peer and relative. I spent years seeking help for Emily. I felt betrayed by the ‘system’ for taking so long to name what she was going through. No-one warned us about what may be happening to her; what her behaviour could mean for her. I often felt blamed as a mother, incompetent, destabilised and exhausted.

Emily would act out towards us and was almost ‘street angel/ house devil’. She had difficulty with relationships and perceived injustices, later regretting her behaviour and feeling hatred towards herself. She eventually began self-harming. My husband and I employed different approaches – but neither of them worked. We focused on keeping her safe and alive and learning skills to manage her distress.

Our relationship and our relationship with others suffered. Our other children were affected as well. We felt isolated; grieving the loss of who she had been. I sought help and support with parenting courses and counselling. No-one ever mentioned BPD; despite research supporting a strong link between trauma such as sexual abuse and BPD.

Finally, Emily was diagnosed with ‘emerging traits of BPD’ by an emergency mental health clinician. She was relieved to have an explanation for her feelings and behaviour and started telling people. We didn’t expect the stigma. I started using the term ‘emotional regulation difficulties’ instead of BPD. I felt if Emily had been diagnosed with a physical illness there would have been a lot more emotional support, concern and kindness. Instead, we often encountered ignorance, fear and blame. Some people told me they did not approve of early diagnosis and ‘labelling’ my daughter. Yet it seemed to me that it was this attitude perpetuating the fear and the stigma more than the diagnosis itself.

I often felt unheard or actively blamed. Everyone had an opinion. I was told that my fear and reactivity were causing Emily’s behavior. However, eventually I did get help and met some supportive clinicians, and police. I also had the support of a psychiatric registrar for 12 months which helped with my wellbeing and with keeping our family together. I maintained a good balance in life between caring for Emily and outside interests, for my own survival. My role as parent to Emily became that of carer. I began working as a volunteer counsellor which also helped me to come to terms with my own sense of grief and loss.

There has been little acknowledgement of the impact of the sexual assault on Emily. Both children are considered victims because they were under 10 years old, yet the effect on our daughter has been devastating and lifelong. I’m telling our story because early detection of BPD is essential, especially when a child discloses sexual assault. As distressing and devastating as this was, the added trauma from the inability or reluctance to name the behaviour as possibly BPD was almost fatal in our case. It’s absolutely vital BPD is identified early and talked about so that appropriate support can be found and treatment can begin.